It is so common for parents, caregivers, teachers, ect to tell a kid to "Be good" or " Stop being bad" You hear the terms good and bad a lot. What do you really mean? You really want the kiddos to either continue the positive behaviors that they have been or stop the negative behaviors.
So before you say "Stop being bad or You're being so good" try a different approach.
I'll use my daughter as an example.
She is learning how to use her inside voice as opposed to screaming a lot.
So here we go.
E; * Screams*
Me * Assesses the situation makes sure she isn't hurt *
Me Inside voice please
E: * Screams again*
Me: Inside voice please
E: Shhhhhh * Smiles*
Me: ( Instead of saying GOOD Girl ( She isn't like a dog LOL)
Me: Nice Inside voice, thank you!
Lets take another situation hitting and rough play.
I'll say we dont hit our kids for punishment or otherwise but hitting at a young age is a form of communication and as caregivers we have to not get angry and lash out. This is where you will hear the "Be good!" or "Don't be bad" or Stop being bad
You can solve that with one word.
:Gentle!
E * HIts me because she can't have something she wants*
Me: * Moves her hands and holds them * You wanted a cookie and you couldn't have one., you're mad, I'd be mad too .
Me: Gentle touches please
E: Touches my hands gently " Gentle"
Me: Yes! Gentle touches thank you!
You guys might think I'm crazy but I don't have a lot of issues with this because I don't get angry, I don't hit her, I don't yell at her and I don't call her "Bad" You have to remember kids are tiny humans and although they don't have the thought processes adults do, they know what they want and need our help to guide their feelings.
Also make sure you know what is appropriate for your kids at their age. Yes, kids understand more than we think they do at a young age but at the same time, they often don't know why.
Also rethink what you say to your kiddos because words make a huge difference.
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